True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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