you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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