help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
