I hate all girls vehemently.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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