he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
