thus making me awesome and them whores
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
