i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
