i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
