btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
