god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
