theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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