I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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