Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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