Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
