so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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