Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
