just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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