What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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