I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize
