I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
