He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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