We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
is that a dick in a sweater?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
