Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
