I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
