I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
