Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
