Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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