Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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