I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
