You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
How external is "for external use only"?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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