i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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