well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
