omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I want to be your penis for a week.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
