Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
