guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
