guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
