Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
