she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
