You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
