Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I party with great urgency now.
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