she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
