i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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