Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
