how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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