so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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