I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
