is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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