He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
