Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
