Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
