it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Less talking, more tequila
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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